To Boss,

 
At present, I do not have the balls to tell you how exactly I feel about you. The closest thing that I will do for now, is pour out my frustrations via this blog in order to still maintain my sanity, so here goes...

Stop saying, "wow it's a pleasant surprise to see you hear so early" everytime I show up before 9.

Stop saying, "are you sure you can get this done?" If I tell you I'll get something done, I'll get something done.

Stop saying "got a hot date tonight?" everytime I plan on leaving early.

Stop saying, "wow i'm surprised you 'actually' took care of this..." sarcastically everytime I finish up a task.

Stop saying, "got plans this weekend as usual?" Yes boss, I will always have plans over the weekends and will do my BEST not to log into work to check e-mails like you do.

Stop looking at me like I am some kind of an idiot. Only selective people, handpicked by me have the authority to do so.

I like taking long lunches. And no, I do not like having lunch with the team, frankly because I think our team is pretty boring. I don't mind putting up with them at work, but I like having lunch as ME time.

Best Regards,
If only I can say all this to you in reality.