There is great deal of marriage talk going about at my place. Here is my stand on the issue. Marriage should be an act of passion and not one out of convention. If I take the latter route, in a few months or years we would get tire of disagreeing with each other on what was more or less the same thing, would be inured to each other’s odd and perhaps disgusting ways, the way she bites her nails etc., and then we would sink into a placid and comfortable unhappiness, each still in a cocoon, but perhaps it would be unwise to be otherwise. And my once secret life would be entombed in a mind half-dead to an incarcerating world, and I would remember, with a sense of bemused embarrassment, and in epiphanic flashes, brought on by uncontrollable jolts to my memory. The restlessness of my mind seems to be the all important thing in the universe.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

In New Y000rk

Currently, in New York for a couple of months.   Click here for latest about New York blog.

Super Funny Indian Dance Video....

This is the funniest wedding dance video I've seen in ages!! :-) Enjoy!!

The Phase

is when I do everything well, when I follow time lines, accomplish tasks, I do everything to run away from the one thing that probably needs most of my attention, time and devotion. This just dawned on me as I continued to surprise myself with all the things that were getting done. To escape the ultimate, I am excelling with the trivialities. Note to self, run the other way, we live on a globe.

Nagins in Bollywood 101

You know you are faced with a Nagin from bollywood if:

1. AMORPHOUS: It can assume any shape and form possible, (even a skeleton bride, 6:46)
   major giveaway: if you catch it converting from human to snake or snake to human.. that pretty much seals the deal example
2. LIGHT COLORED EYES UPON OCCASION: When mad or excited or angry .. its eyes turn blue.. or gray.
   
3. BIN/PUNGI: If you play the bin anywhere around it, it will try to resist but will eventually give in by dancing, like so .. clickity , or this , more, you get the idea. Note the cobra like hand gesture... VERY important for a nagin dance.
   
4. RELIGIOUS: It hangs around Lord Shiva's idol.
5. AGILE: It can do anything! dodge bullets, withstand lightening, appear, disappear ... anything
6. MONOGAMOUS:It practices monogamy and loves to dance with it's companion, rolling around and slithering like movements, references : clickity clack
   
7. AVENGEFUL: If you kill its loved one ... particularly the naag it will avenge you. How does it know who killed the naag you ask? Simple! it sees the picture of the murdered in the dead naag's eyes, as explained here (1:37)
   
8. MANI: It knows where the mani is at.. now mani is the jewel that can supposedly make a snake charmer or sage or saint or saadhoo or just about anyone rich.. how you ask ? Well, since none of the idiots in any of the movies have found it .. it remains to be answered... all we know is that its really shiny and bright enough to make the night seem like day.
   
9. SNAKE BABIES: If you fall in love with one, your spawn are likely to become one. That's if you don't eat them.
   
10. AMRISH PURI: Nagin in bollywood movies usually has a contender who will play the bin and intice it and try to get the nagin to reveal the mani's location and that guy will most likely be Amrish Puri. Unfortunately, we don't have that luxury anymore, Jaani dushman (new one) is the last such movie that saw him in this character.
    

Not long ago, I sat down to revise my Nagin IQ by watching the great classic Nagina which is the single most popular Nagin movie. As a friend noticed my undivided attention toward the screen, he interjected with great curiosity as "Mai teri dushman (I'm your enemy)" played , amrish puri blowed and sri devi gyrated..

Friend: Whoa why is she dancing like that?
Moi: That's a popular dance buddy ...
Friend: Is she mad she doesn't have one?
Moi: doesn't have what?
Friend: No GINA
Moi speechless....

...

Mom, I'm on my Period...

Oh no! Ok, don't touch my madi sari (a sari she wears to pray in). Do NOT touch or use these utensils in the kitchen. When you're in the pooja (prayer) room, don't go near any of the idols or the praying items. MOST important thing, make sure that you take a head bath on your 4th AND the 5th day of your period before you pray in front of god. You're not allowed to pray on the 1-4th days. Only started to allow to pray on the 5th day.

Uhhm, ok mom.

Why are you giving me that look? You're having it much easier that me. When I was growing, no one was even supposed to touch us at home. If someone touched me when I was on my period, even accidentally, they would have to take a bath IMMEDIATELY! We would be in a corner in the house, NO ONE outside the house was allowed to touch us also ok? The whole gully (street) would know when a girl was on her period.

Sigh.

Don't sigh! Where are your traditions? You have to respect god. You can't go in front of him when you're not pure.

Being on my period doesn't mean I'm impure mom. God knows when I'm on my period, so why these rules that don't make sense?

You don't know anything! It is not respectful to go in front of god when you're not pure.

Why the taboo around a woman's period? It's as natural as breathing, sleeping, eating. It's something every girl/woman goes through. In this day and age, why should a woman be feared if she is on her period? Why should poojas be stopped? In many current cases, why can she not be touched in the house she is currently residing in? Why can't I pray if I choose to in a temple?

My grandparents happen to be very orthodox. My first experience of having a period in India was.., a learning experience... We had plans to go to Tirupathi (a holy mecca sort of a place for Hindus). But since I got my period, I wasn't allowed to go. On top of that, it meant that my parents were still going and I had to stay back with my grandparents. Grandma made me sit in a corner in the house and at times, I was asked to leave the house for a bit while grandpa was praying. Having a presence of a girl on her period was impure. No one was allowed to touch me.

Scenario mentioned above with my mom is one of the many arguments that run in the house that I currently live in. Every month I get my gift from "God", mom freaks out. Makes SURE I take a head bath on the 4th 5th whatever day. And mom's right. She had it a lot harder when she was growing up. I tell myself that I'll try not to be the same way like my mom if I have kids. Maybe I'll be all the more liberal.

But again, why the taboo? A part of me is god-fearing as well. Is it bad karma to disrespect my parents and ancestors' rules? Would god punish me for going to the temple on my 'off' days? Breaking the barrier of having the freedom to go to the temple when I'm on my period seems to be just as hard of an ordeal like many of the other racial, economic, environmental problems that are going on in the world lately. It's hard to urge my mom and dad to change. It's hard to explain the formula of "women on her period = just women, not impure women".

Time shall tell on whether I'll have the courage to break this barrier if and when it comes to my daughter's first period.

Period.